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Subject:  Communicating Fathers
Sender: "Fatherhood Foundation" <info@fathersonline.org>
From: "Fatherhood Foundation" <info@fathersonline.org>
Date: Sat, 8 Mar 2003 10:16:50 +1000
To: "Warwick Marsh" <info@ausheart.com.au>
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<P class=3D"ebFooter"=3E<IMG src=3D"http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fb=
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olor=3D#999999=3E<td height=3D1 colspan=3D3=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D=
1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D595 bgcolor=3D'#FFFFFF' no=
wrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fa=
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999' nowrap=3E</td=3E</tr=3E</table=3E<table border=3D0 cellpadding=3D0 cell=
spacing=3D0 width=3D597=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E<=
/td=3E<td width=3D200 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' align=3Dleft nowrap=3E<font class=3D=
'blulink'=3E=A0=A0=A0Issue No=2E 15-9th Dec, 2002</font=3E</td=3E<td width=3D=
380 height=3D20 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' align=3Dright nowrap=3E<font class=3D'bl=
ulink'=3E<A href=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/html/report=
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<tr=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D578 heig=
ht=3D1 colspan=3D3 bgcolor=3D'#cccccc' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=
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0 cellspacing=3D0 width=3D597 height=3D108=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'=
#999999' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td height=3D1 colspan=3D4 bgcolor=3D'#cccccc' nowr=
ap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<=
td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D220 bgcolor=3D'=
#FFFFFF' valign=3Dtop nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/em=
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40 height=3D150 border=3D0=3E</td=3E<td bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E</td=3E=
<td valign=3Dtop bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' width=3D295=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<t=
able cellpadding=3D0 cellspacing=3D0 border=3D0=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</t=
d=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Eboswe=
b=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2E=
gif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor1'=3EWelcome to=
 fathersonline=2Eorg</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=
=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=
=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2E=
gif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor2'=3EDads with =
Young Children</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</t=
r=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=
=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E=
</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor3'=3EGrandads</a=3E</f=
ont=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1=
 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/tem=
plates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font cl=
ass=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor4'=3ELaughter</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<=
tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img =
src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/templa=
te1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a hre=
f=3D'#anchor5'=3ESingle Dads</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D=
2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2E=
bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebu=
llet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor6'=3ESpe=
cial Feature</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E=
<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Ea=
u/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</=
td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor7'=3EThought for the Wee=
k</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td=
 width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5F=
blast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E=
<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor8'=3ENews & Info</a=3E</font=3E</td=
=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3D=
top=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fat=
hers/template1/Generic/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'tex=
t'=3E<a href=3D'#anchor9'=3EDad's Prayer</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<=
td height=3D2=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 valign=3Dtop=3E<img src=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Ge=
neric/orangebullet=2Egif'=3E</td=3E<td=3E<font class=3D'text'=3E<a href=3D'#=
anchor10'=3EMission Statement & Help Us!</a=3E</font=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<=
td height=3D4=3E</td=3E</tr=3E</table=3E</font=3E</td=3E<td width=3D24 bgcol=
or=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap=3E</=
td=3E</tr=3E</table=3E<table border=3D0 cellpadding=3D0 cellspacing=3D0 widt=
h=3D597=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D'#999999' nowrap rowspan=3D19=3E</td=
=3E<td width=3D595 height=3D2 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2E=
bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Eg=
if'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, s=
ans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor1'=3E</a=3E<b=3EWelcome to=
 fathersonline=2Eorg</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<=
br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5F=
images/fathers=5Fissue15-9th Dec, 2002=5Ffamily tv-3 copy=2Ebmp' align=3Dlef=
t=3E</div=3E Dear Warwick,<BR=3E<BR=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3EYo=
u have had a busy day at work=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SP=
AN=3EThe boss was mad at you because Supplier X didn=92t deliver Product Y o=
n time=2EThe company division you look after was waiting for Product Y so th=
at they could continue work to meet impossible Deadline Z=2E<SPAN style=3D'm=
so-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ESupplier X blamed the makers of Product Y a=
nd the Christmas Rush=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou=
 know the truth but you can=92t say anything because the boss thinks Supplie=
r X is the best thing since sliced bread=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=
=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EMeanwhile all the staff are blaming you because they can=92t=
 make the deadline Z which was impossible even before the =91unexpected dela=
y=92 and Christmas Rush=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3E<=
/P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=
=3E=A0<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:offic=
e:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3EYou=92ve just come home, dropped into the l=
ounge and taken control of the TV remote so you can =91switch off=92=2E<SPAN=
 style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou=92ve had it up to here with =
XYZ and you don=92t want to talk, think or listen to anyone=2E<SPAN style=3D=
'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EHowever your wife wants to talk to you, y=
ou need to talk to her=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYo=
ur children need to hear your encouragement=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: y=
es'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou need to hear about their day=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spa=
cerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EDoes any of this actually happen=3F</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E=
</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN:=
 justify'=3EThis scenario with slight variations is played out by hundreds o=
f thousands of dads every day of the year<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3E-<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Eyear in, year=
 out -<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Eand we wonder why we =
have so much family breakdown=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SP=
AN=3EHow does this scenario differ to hundreds of years ago=3F<SPAN style=3D=
'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhat is the thing that is destroying vita=
l family communication between parents and their children=3F</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o=
:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: ju=
stify'=3EOne word tells us =96 Television=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes=
'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThe TV can be a rich source of entertainment and educationa=
l endeavour,=A0yet it would seem that it is actually causing families to com=
municate less=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhatever yo=
ur opinion, the TV robs families of communication over breakfast,<SPAN style=
=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Eit stays on all day to catch those at =
home with it=92s soul destroying soapies, the children rush home from school=
 to get their daily dose of violence and mayhem, and then dad has to fight t=
o get hold of the remote control=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 <=
/SPAN=3EEveryone eats in front of the TV and, as the night wears on, each fa=
mily member leaves the flickering glow of the TV god to go to bed=2E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ETomorrow morning the whole routine =
begins again=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ESound famili=
ar=3F</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: ju=
stify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0=
cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3ETo become a better father to your family, you=
 can help create good habits=2E That is increase the positive, and/or remove=
 the bad habits; in other words subtract the negative=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-s=
pacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EEither way it becomes an improvement to your fa=
mily and your fathering=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EI=
f you switch the TV off more often, you will not die, in fact you might just=
 discover your family=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou=
r family needs you more than you need the TV=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: =
yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ESo after one of those particularly rough days at work, w=
hen everything in you wants to shut down, turn off, and turn on the TV, resi=
st the temptation, sacrifice your feelings=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: ye=
s'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ETurn the TV off and ask about your wife=92s day, find out =
how your children are going=2E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0c=
m 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNorm=
al style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3EYou might have to ex=
plain your actions with lines like, =93But honey you are more important to m=
e than the Simpsons=94, or, =93Son, let=92s go and kick ball=94=2E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou might have to use all the leaders=
hip skills you possess but I can assure you,<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes=
'=3E </SPAN=3Eyour children will love you for it=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacer=
un: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYour wife might die of shock, but I=92m sure you cou=
ld revive her with a kiss=2E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm =
0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal=
 style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-f=
ont-weight: normal'=3ELovework<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</B=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNorma=
l style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=
=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=
Have you ever thought of doing without the TV for a week just to see what ef=
fect it has on your family life=3F<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </=
SPAN=3EYou will have to seek the approval of your family members=2E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3ENo doubt if what you propose is an e=
xperiment for the sake of better family communication, you will get a fair h=
earing!<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EConsultive change wi=
ll be more beneficial in the long term=2E Maybe you will be unable to secure=
 a complete media blackout for a week=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0 </SPAN=3EInstead work towards an agreed compromise, then discuss the res=
ults with you family=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EYou =
just might find that the TV god no longer rules your family as much as it di=
d before=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EWhatever you dec=
ide as a family, have fun doing it=2E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MAR=
GIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3EYours for bet=
ter communication</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TE=
XT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<FONT size=3D3=3E<FONT face=3D'Times New Roman'=3E<FONT=
 face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EWarwick Marsh</FONT=3E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun=
: yes'=3E=A0=A0 </SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-font-weigh=
t: normal'=3E<FONT size=3D3=3E<FONT face=3D'Times New Roman'=3E=A0=A0=A0=A0 =
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</B=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'=
MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<FONT face=3DV=
erdana size=3D2=3EWarwick Marsh is the founder of the Fatherhood Foundation=2E=
=A0 Married for 27 years he is the father of five children, four boys and on=
e girl, ranging in age from 21 years to 9 years=2E=A0 Warwick is a musician,=
 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still lau=
gh at himself=2E</P=3E<P=3E<BR=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Drig=
ht=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<=
br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E<td width=3D1 bgcolor=3D#9999=
99 nowrap rowspan=3D19=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgc=
olor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5F=
blast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E=
</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'h=
ttp://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Gene=
ric/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D'3' face=3D'Verdana, Arial=
, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor2'=3E</a=3E<=
b=3EDads with Young Children</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E=
<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/=
client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue15-9th Dec, 2002=5FFamily10=2Ejpg' align=3Dle=
ft=3E</div=3E <SPAN lang=3DEN-US style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verd=
ana; mso-bidi-font-size: 16=2E0pt'=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0=
cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3EWhat a week it=92s b=
een, absolutely flat out! I have just started a new job =96 8=2E30am kick of=
f and finish somewhere between 5pm and midnight=2E Staring at a computer all=
 day, collar and tie, hourly Nescafe breaks, and that much sought after publ=
ic service fluorescent suntan=85to think I moved up to the Sunshine Coast to=
 see more of the sun and surf!! Don=92t get me wrong, I love my new job, and=
 my newfound career =96 but there is a price to pay=2E As some famous old sc=
ientist said=85for every action there is a reaction - my decision to fulfill=
 an employment dream has, and will, continue to place pressure on the alread=
y challenged time constraints experienced today=2E The losers in this equati=
on: my family=2E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm=
 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3E=A0<=3Fxml:namespace prefi=
x =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN=
: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3EI recall in an earlier Fatherhood newslett=
er, a comment of some elderly person reflecting back on what they would have=
 done differently if given the chance =96 the comment you NEVER hear is =93I=
 wish I had spent more time at the office=94=2E I can now understand how we =
fall into the trap of spending much of our time working; I am doing it alrea=
dy after a week and a half, looking to put in the extra hours, wanting to le=
arn, to achieve (and to please the boss of course)=2E </SPAN=3E</P=3E<P clas=
s=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lan=
g=3DEN-US=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3EYou know, I =
think it is a good principle to work hard and to be a committed employee=2E =
Having good work ethics rub off into many other areas of your life =96 it=92=
s a principle we all should strive for=2E However, in saying this, we must r=
emember as husbands and fathers, that our commitment to our family comes fir=
st=2E Our children grow up so quickly=2E=A0The lyrics in the well known song=
 =91Cats in the Cradle=92 mention the all too busy father, constantly begged=
 by his son to spend time with him, and then before he realises=85it=92s too=
 late=2E I believe, in today=92s fast paced society, that so many men can re=
late to the above scenario=85it=92s scary eh=3F </SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMs=
oNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN=
-US=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3EMy new employment =
arrangements means that my time management skills we now be put to the test=2E=
 Being able to prioritise activities becomes essential=2E The time we =91do=92=
 have to share with our families must not be idle time, but quality time=2E =
Perhaps nightly television will be pushed aside now, with family discussion =
taking over=2E Simple things like sharing the day=92s activities will become=
 so much more important=85what happened at little lunch for my 9 year old da=
ughter could be a life changing experience, rather than what=92s happening t=
o Vinnie on Home and Away=2E Listening to my 12 year old practice the newly =
learnt song on his guitar, certainly out-rates the =91not so=92 Perfect Matc=
h=2E <SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=
=3DEN-US=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MA=
RGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3ESo, my tip fo=
r young fathers today =96 utilise your time wisely, spend it with those who =
ARE your life, be there to watch your children grow up, and have no regrets=2E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN=
: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3D=
EN-US=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGI=
N: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3ETill next time</=
SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: =
justify'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3EPAUL</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyText st=
yle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E</SPAN=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US style=3D'FONT-SIZE=
: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 12=2E5pt; mso-ansi-languag=
e: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-font-family: ' New Times =
mso-bidi-font-family: =3FTimes Roman=3F; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA=3F=3E</SPA=
N=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<SPAN la=
ng=3DEN-US style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-siz=
e: 12=2E5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-fare=
ast-font-family: ' New Times mso-bidi-font-family: =3FTimes Roman=3F; mso-bi=
di-language: AR-SA=3F=3E=A0=A0=A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F</SPAN=3E</P=3E<SPAN lang=3D=
EN-US style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 12=
=2E5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-f=
ont-family: ' New Times mso-bidi-font-family: =3FTimes Roman=3F; mso-bidi-la=
nguage: AR-SA=3F=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana'=3E<=
P style=3D'MARGIN-RIGHT: 1=2E3pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAM=
ILY: Verdana'=3EPaul Sloan is an accountant working with Equipglobal=2E=A0 H=
e is married with three children aged one, nine and eleven years=2E=A0 Paul =
is an active surfer who lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland=2E=A0 He i=
s a family man who hasn=92t lost his sense of humour=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=
=3E</P=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E=
<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=
=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D=
'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/=
templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E=
<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D12 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://w=
ww=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fad=
e=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helveti=
ca, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor3'=3E</a=3E<b=3EGrand=
ads</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img =
src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5F=
issue15-9th Dec, 2002=5Ffather son=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <FONT size=
=3D5=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D6=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E<FONT =
size=3D2=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: ce=
nter' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3E'Do you remem=
ber your father=3F' asked the judge sternly, 'that father whom you have disg=
raced=3F' The prisoner answered, ' I remember him perfectly=2E </FONT=3E</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=
=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3EWhen=A0 I went to him fo=
r advice or copmanionship, he would look up from his law of trusts, and say,=
 'Run away,boy,I am busy=2E'=A0=A0 =A0My=A0 father finished his book and her=
e I am'</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEX=
T-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3E</=
FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIG=
N: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D4=3ET=2E DeW=
itt Ralmadge</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt=
; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D4=
=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT=
-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E=A0=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F</P=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E=
</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D=
'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</block=
quote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' =
nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/=
fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<t=
d width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebos=
web=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=
=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans=
-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor4'=3E</a=3E<b=3ELaughter</b=3E=
</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'ht=
tp://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue15=
-9th Dec, 2002=5Fbombsquad2=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P align=3Dcenter=
=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS'=3E<FONT size=3D6=3E<FONT fa=
ce=3D'Times New Roman' size=3D3=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=
=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcenter=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dcent=
er=3E=A0</P=3E<P align=3Dleft=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS=
'=3E<FONT size=3D6=3E<FONT size=3D+0=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<STRO=
NG=3EActions can communicate</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<=
/FONT=3E</P=3E<P align=3Dleft=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=A0=
</P=3E<P align=3Dleft=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS'=3E<FON=
T size=3D6=3E<FONT size=3D+0=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal =
style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dleft=3E<FONT face=3D=
Verdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#0000=
00 size=3D2=3E<STRONG=3EA Father Communicating</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3EAt one point during a game, =
the coach said to one of his young players, 'Do you understand what cooperat=
ion is=3F What a team is=3F' </FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D=
#000000 size=3D2=3EThe little boy nodded in the affirmative=2E </FONT=3E</P=3E=
<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E'Do you understand that=
 what matters is whether we win together as a team=3F' </FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<=
FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3EThe little boy nodded yes=2E =
</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3E'So,' th=
e coach continued, 'when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don=
't argue or curse or attack the umpire=2E Do you understand all that=3F' </F=
ONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 size=3D2=3EAgain the l=
ittle boy nodded=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana color=3D#000000 =
size=3D2=3E'Good,' said the coach=2E 'Now go over there and explain it to yo=
ur mother=2E'</FONT=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=
=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=
=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 he=
ight=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=
=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D=
595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' ba=
ckground=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/t=
emplate1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Ver=
dana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor5=
'=3E</a=3E<b=3ESingle Dads</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<=
br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/c=
lient=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue15-9th Dec, 2002=5Ffather & son 3=2Ejpg' align=
=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<S=
PAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-siz=
e: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal =
style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E=
4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt =
283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt' align=3Dcenter=3E=
<B=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 14pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: =
EN-AU'=3EThe Single Father - First, the Good News =2E=2E=2E=2E=2E - Part 2</=
SPAN=3E</B=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; ms=
o-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:sch=
emas-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; tab-stops: -7=
0=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E=
4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt' a=
lign=3Dcenter=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;=
 mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A9 Neil Porter 2002=
<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4=
pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E=
6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: A=
rial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3D=
Verdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal sty=
le=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4=
pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 2=
83=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=
=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3ELast week I proposed the conundrum that a single f=
ather could have 100% custody of their children and yet never see them - how=
 can this be=3F<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal s=
tyle=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E=
4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt =
283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=
=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=
=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -=
70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E=
4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E=
<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-s=
ize: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EIn the 'old' divorce system, there w=
as one settlement covering all aspects of the marriage union; components suc=
h as maintenance for the wife and children, property settlement and so on=2E=
 Under the new Lionel Murphy system, all these were dealt with separately=2E=
 Thus 'Factual Care and Control' defined who had the children residing with =
them day to day, and who was responsible for their routine daily care and up=
bringing=2E 'Custody' of the children was a different component and so was '=
Access' to the children=2E 'Property Settlement' was a separate component ag=
ain=2E Theoretically, then, one ex-spouse could have had 100% Factual Care a=
nd Control, while the other had 100% unshared Custody but zero Access=2E Nic=
e, eh=3F Although the terminology is different now, I believe these legal co=
nditions basically still apply today=2E </FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DM=
soNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E=
8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt =
247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size=
: 12=2E0pt'=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TE=
XT-ALIGN: justify; mso-pagination: widow-orphan'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US style=3D=
'FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-bi=
di-font-family: ' Courier New=3F=3F=3E<FONT size=3D2=3EThere are also many n=
ew complexities in today's family laws that didn't exist in my time=2E In fa=
ct, men today are still hoping to gain 'custody' of their children=2E Men, i=
f you have an application in today, then I strongly advise you to be absolut=
ely sure of what you think you are applying for, and to use and understand t=
he correct terminology!<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMso=
Normal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-pagination: wi=
dow-orphan'=3E<SPAN lang=3DEN-US style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verd=
ana; mso-bidi-font-size: 10=2E0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: ' Courier New=3F=3F=
=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso=
-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-font-family:=
 ' New Times Roman=3F; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA=3F=3E<BR style=3D'PAGE-BREAK=
-BEFORE: always; mso-break-type: section-break' clear=3Dall=3E=A0</P=3E</SPA=
N=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; =
tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=
=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt=
 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; m=
so-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3ESo, why didn't I try f=
or Factual Care and Control=3F I did seriously consider it for some time, my=
 main motivation being that my ex-wife had gone through a significant period=
 of instability and irresponsibility=2E Many people who had known us both we=
ll were declaring their opinion that I should 'have' the children=2E The fol=
lowing is an absolutely true account =2E=2E=2E=2E=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E=
</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN=
: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 14=
1=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4p=
t 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-languag=
e: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E<=
/o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm=
 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E=
8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 35=
4=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; =
mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerda=
na=3EAfter meditating on the topic of 'having' the children for some time, I=
 became overwhelmed with a clear picture: that it would be over eight years =
before I remarried while it would be less than two years before my ex-wife r=
emarried=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=
=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt=
 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=
=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'F=
ONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E=
8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt =
247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size=
: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EI have fairly traditional views about t=
he roles of men and women in marriage=2E This is not to say in way whatsoeve=
r that I subscribe to the old 'joke' about about keeping the wives 'barefoot=
, pregnant, and chained to the kitchen sink'=2E Women have always been capab=
le of doing anything they wanted, as have men (there are plenty of full-time=
 stay-at-home fathers nowadays)=2E The point is, just because we can, does t=
hat mean that we should=3F What is the cost=3F It is about <I=3Eroles</I=3E,=
 not capabilities=2E Therefore, I passionately believed that it was crucial =
for my children to have a regular continuing relationship with <I=3Eboth</I=3E=
 a man and a woman=2E And that under the one roof, preferably<SPAN style=3D'=
mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Emarried=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify=
; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 1=
77=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8=
pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;=
 mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</=
FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEX=
T-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E=
2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 38=
9=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-l=
anguage: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EMy 'c=
lear picture' also saw me not having any 'girlfriends' (commonly called 'par=
tners' nowadays) at all during the whole eight years=2E I also saw my ex-wif=
e marrying a decent, domestic-oriented man who would be good for my children=
=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARG=
IN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E=
4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=
=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY=
: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT fac=
e=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal=
 style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=
=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8=
pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN styl=
e=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E=
0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3ESo, against much advice from many, I chose not=
 to contest for 'Factual Care and Control'=2E <o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=
=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: just=
ify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6p=
t 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E=
8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU=
; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E<=
/FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TE=
XT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E=
2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 38=
9=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-l=
anguage: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E(Cont=
inued next week)<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal =
style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E=
4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt =
283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E</FONT=3E</FO=
NT=3E</SPAN=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=
<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana siz=
e=3D2=3E<DIV=3E<FONT face=3DArial size=3D2=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; F=
ONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial'=3ENeil Porter is a qualifi=
ed teacher, computer consultant, professional musician, producer and writer =
who has 4 beautiful children=2E=A0 He was a single dad for 8 years before he=
 remarried in 1984=2E=A0 Neil is passionate to encourage marriages and famil=
ies=2E=A0 Contact Neil at=A0 <A href=3D'mailto:neilporter@fishinternet=2Ecom=
=2Eau'=3Eneilporter@fishinternet=2Ecom=2Eau</A=3E</SPAN=3E<SPAN style=3D'FON=
T-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: ' mso-bidi-font-family: MS=3F=3F=
 Unicode =3FArial MS=3F; Arial=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</FO=
NT=3E</DIV=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#t=
op'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquo=
te=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' now=
rap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fat=
hers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td w=
idth=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=
=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E=
<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-se=
rif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor6'=3E</a=3E<b=3ESpecial Feature<=
/b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D=
'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissu=
e15-9th Dec, 2002=5Fbaby1=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <SPAN lang=3DEN-US =
style=3D'FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 12=2E5pt=
; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-fareast-font-fa=
mily: ' New Times mso-bidi-font-family: =3FTimes Roman=3F; mso-bidi-language=
: AR-SA=3F=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'M=
ARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm =
35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2p=
t 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN=3E<STRONG=3ETo =
My Child<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas-microsoft-com:off=
ice:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</STRONG=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNorma=
l style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -3=
5=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E=
8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN sty=
le=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E=
0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EAnon - circulating on the Internet - adapted a=
nd edited by Neil Porter<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMs=
oNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E=
8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt =
247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size=
: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=
=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; t=
ab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E=
0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 46=
0=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-=
ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EJust for this morning, I =
am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying=2E =
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smil=
e and say how perfect it is=2E Just for this morning, I am going to put down=
 the newspaper, and pick you up and take you to the park to play=2E Just for=
 this morning, I will leave the grass as long as it is, and let you teach me=
 how to put that puzzle of yours together=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify=
; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 1=
77=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8=
pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU;=
 mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</=
FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEX=
T-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E=
2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 38=
9=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-l=
anguage: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EJust =
for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, a=
nd sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles=2E Just for this afternoon,=
 I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for=
 the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by=2E Just for this=
 afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, o=
r second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned=2E Just fo=
r this afternoon, I will let you help me paint the fence, and I won't stand =
over you whle you do it=2E Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDona=
ld's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E=
</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; T=
EXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=
=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt=
 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ans=
i-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0=
<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN:=
 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4=
pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E=
6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: A=
rial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3D=
Verdana=3EJust for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a s=
tory about how you were born and how much I love you=2E Just for this evenin=
g, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry=2E Just for this eveni=
ng, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the =
stars=2E Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and mis=
s my favourite TV shows=2E Just for this evening when I run my finger throug=
h your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the=
 greatest gift ever given=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E=
8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt =
247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size=
: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=
=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; t=
ab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E=
0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 46=
0=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-=
ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3EI will think about the mo=
thers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers =
and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their<SPAN s=
tyle=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Ebedrooms, and mothers and fathers =
who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and sc=
reaming inside that they can't handle it anymore=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E<=
/SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN:=
 justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=
=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt=
 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language=
: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E=A0<o:p=3E</=
o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm =
0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8=
pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt 247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=
=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SPAN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; m=
so-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdan=
a=3EAnd when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a littl=
e longer=2E It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothi=
ng, except one more day=2E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P class=3D=
MsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; tab-stops: -70=2E=
8pt -35=2E4pt 0cm 35=2E4pt 70=2E8pt 106=2E2pt 141=2E6pt 177=2E0pt 212=2E4pt =
247=2E8pt 283=2E2pt 318=2E6pt 354=2E0pt 389=2E4pt 424=2E8pt 460=2E2pt'=3E<SP=
AN style=3D'FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-ansi-language: EN-AU; mso-ansi-font-size=
: 12=2E0pt'=3E<FONT size=3D3=3E=A0<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</P=3E<P =
class=3DMsoBodyText style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E</SPAN=3E=
<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to=
 top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E<=
/tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img sr=
c=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template=
1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 he=
ight=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/e=
mail=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E=
<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Db=
lack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor7'=3E</a=3E<b=3EThought for the Week</b=3E</fo=
nt=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http:/=
/www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue15-9th=
 Dec, 2002=5Fsmiling kids4=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <FONT size=3D6=3E<=
SPAN lang=3DEN-US=3E<FONT size=3D4=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0=
cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<BR=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoN=
ormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FO=
NT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3EFor a child love is spelt</FONT=3E</P=3E=
<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=
=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3ET-I-M-E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=
 class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans =
MS'=3E<FONT size=3D6=3E=A0<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'urn:schemas=
-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P =
class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3D=
center=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D3=3EZig Ziglar</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=
 class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3D=
center=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<=
font size=3D2=3E<a href=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<=
p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</blockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=
=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Ea=
u/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D59=
5=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' back=
ground=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/tem=
plate1/Generic/fade=2Egif'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verda=
na, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor8'=3E=
</a=3E<b=3ENews & Info</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E=
<br=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=
=5Fimages/fathers=5Fissue15-9th Dec, 2002=5Fdad trike=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E=
</div=3E <DIV=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D=
'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<B style=3D'mso-bidi-font-weigh=
t: normal'=3ENewsflash</B=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm =
0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E=A0<=3Fxml:namespace prefix =3D o ns =3D 'ur=
n:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office' /=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</P=3E<P class=3DM=
soNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'=3E<FONT face=3D'=
Times New Roman' size=3D3=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3ETwo hundred and =
twenty federal parliamentarians from all political parties will receive a Ch=
ristmas present with a personalised letter of encouragement from the Fatherh=
ood Foundation=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThe gift, =
made possible by Dr Bruce Robinson and the friends and supporters of the Fat=
herhood Foundation, is an excellent fathering book called, =91Fathering from=
 the Fast Lane=92 by Dr Bruce Robinson and features over 50 interviews with =
Aussie dads, including Mr John Howard and Kim Beazley=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-s=
pacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EDr Bruce Robinson has kindly agreed to speak to=
 Parliamentarians on =91Keys to Success =96 Fathers in the Fast Lane=92 on W=
ednesday, 19<SUP=3Eth</SUP=3E March at Parliament House, Canberra=2E<SPAN st=
yle=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThis dinner function will be organi=
sed jointly by Paul Calvert, President of the Senate and the Fatherhood Foun=
dation=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThe Fatherhood Fou=
ndation believes that the best way to bring change is from the inside out=2E=
<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EIf we can help the extremel=
y busy federal politicians to become better dads, this will ultimately conne=
ct with the country in the form of more father friendly laws=2E</FONT=3E </F=
ONT=3E</P=3E</FONT=3E</DIV=3E<DIV=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=
=A0</DIV=3E<DIV=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E=A0=A0=A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
</FONT=3E</DIV=3E<DIV=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E=A0</DIV=3E=
<DIV=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<STRONG=3EMore from the Nations Capit=
al</STRONG=3E </FONT=3E</DIV=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EIt is pl=
easing to report that very strong interest in being shown in Parliament by t=
he members and staffers of the various departments that have issues or respo=
nsibilites with families=2E The main focus of this meeting was related to sh=
ared parenting=2E</P=3E<DIV=3EThe Parliamentary meeting was well attended, b=
y members David Tollner,<BR=3ESophie Panopoulas, Ross Cameron, Jennie Ferris=
, Margaret Reid, Alan<BR=3ECadman, Bronwyn Bishop, Barry Wakelin, Sen=2E Bil=
l Heffernan, Chris Pyne,<BR=3EPeter Dutton, Joanna Gash, Kay Elson, Warren E=
ntsch,=A0=A0 Barry Haase,<BR=3EKerry Bartlett, Alby Schultz, Cameron Thompso=
n and Larry Anthony, plus<BR=3Eother unidentifiable note takers, presumably =
from other departments=2E<BR=3E=A0<BR=3EAlthough time was short ( 1 hour) I =
and Michael Green, author of Fathers after Divorce=A0were able to speak and =
present our case=2E=A0However,=A0 Bill Heffernan, Larry Anthony (Minister fo=
r CSA) Jennie Ferris<BR=3Eetc etc still remained=2E<BR=3E=A0<BR=3EThe group =
also discussed=A0their encounters with FC, CSA and DV issues=2E<BR=3E=A0<BR=3E=
Mike had a sad tale to recount and did break down when he described<BR=3Ehav=
ing to tell his 8 year old daughter that she could not have any<BR=3Efriends=
 to her party - the reason being because the neighbours do not<BR=3Eallow th=
eir children to come to her father's house - they regard him as<BR=3Ea paedo=
phile because of the false allegations made by the mother during<BR=3Ethe pr=
operty dispute=2E<BR=3E=A0<BR=3EWe were advised that shared parenting issues=
 were on the agenda in the new year=2E=A0So all in all the meeting had a pos=
itive feel, but now the hard work comes into it=2E Ensuring their idea of sh=
ared parenting remains ours and that the departments involved do not scuttle=
 to project as they will try to do=2E<BR=3E=A0<BR=3EI think it would be a gr=
eat idea to write 'nice' letters to the pollies<BR=3Ementioned, those who at=
tended to thank them for taking an interest in<BR=3Eshared and equal parenti=
ng time=2E Letters rather than emails will<BR=3Eprobably have more effect=2E=
<BR=3E=A0<BR=3EI will post their addresses for you over the week end otherwi=
se=A0 you can<BR=3Eaccess them from </FONT=3E<A href=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2E=
com=2Eau/email=5Fblast/html/report=5Fredirect=2Easp=3Fsid=3D672&cid=3Dinfo@a=
usheart=2Ecom=2Eau&comp=3Dfathers&url=3Dhttp://www=2Eaph=2Egov=2Eau/'=3E<FON=
T face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3Ewww=2Eaph=2Egov=2Eau</FONT=3E</A=3E<BR=3E<FONT f=
ace=3DVerdana=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E=A0<BR=3EWarwick Marsh<BR=3E<STRONG=3E=A0</=
STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</FONT=3E</DIV=3E<P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN=
: 0cm 0cm 0pt'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<SPAN style=3D=
'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E<SPAN style=3D'mso-bidi-font-size: 12=2E0pt; mso-farea=
st-language: EN-AU'=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEX=
T-ALIGN: justify'=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-=
ALIGN: justify'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=3E<FONT size=3D2=3E<o:p=3E</o:p=3E</F=
ONT=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E</SPAN=3E</SPAN=3E<=
/SPAN=3E<P=3E=A0=A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F<BR=3E</P=3E<P=3E<STRONG=3E<FONT face=
=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EMen on the Move</FONT=3E</STRONG=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT fa=
ce=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThere is a groundswell of interest developing in Fam=
ily issues and leaders are rising up to take on the challenges=2E This is no=
t a phenomenon confined to cities=2E It is inspiring to see dads put in so m=
uch effort for the causes that are so fundamental to family living as the fo=
llowing item relates=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyTextIndent style=3D'=
MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0cm'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe=
 housing crisis is worsening in Australia=2E There are over 100,000 homeless=
,<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3Emany more in sub-standard,=
 many paying more than 30% of income in rent or mortgage, hundreds of thousa=
nds on the public housing waiting list, and less Aussies able to own their o=
wn home=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P =
class=3DMsoBodyTextIndent style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0cm'=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E</SPAN=3E=
</FONT=3E=A0</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyTextIndent style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;=
 TEXT-INDENT: 0cm'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EAussie Dads Alan Piper =
and Grenfell pastor, Stephen Lewin are passionate about helping solve this c=
risis by raising public awareness by walking from Grenfell and Cowra in Cent=
ral NSW to Cambelltown, Western Sydney=2E<SPAN style=3D'mso-spacerun: yes'=3E=
=A0</SPAN=3E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyTextIndent style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm=
 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0cm'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThey will be t=
aking a walk for Habitat For Humanity to be =93HOME FOR CHRISTMAS=94, in ord=
er to revive the great Aussie Dream to own your own home=2E<SPAN style=3D'ms=
o-spacerun: yes'=3E=A0 </SPAN=3EThe walk was the idea of Mark Kohnen of Gren=
fell, who will take part in stages of the walk and will be involved in publi=
city and fundraising for Habitat=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<STRONG=3E</STRONG=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EKeep an eye out for them=2E If you want more=
 information or can assist,=A0contact can be through the following:</FONT=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoBodyTextIndent style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT=
: 0cm'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EHabitat For Humanity Australia, PO =
Box 1154, Parramatta NSW or phone Grenfell 63432396 or 63475254 or email </F=
ONT=3E<A href=3D'mailto:revivals@westserv=2Enet=2Eau'=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana=
 size=3D2=3Erevivals@westserv=2Enet=2Eau</FONT=3E</A=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana =
size=3D2=3E or </FONT=3E<A href=3D'mailto:iwejtn@westserv=2Enet=2Eau'=3E<FON=
T face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3Eiwejtn@westserv=2Enet=2Eau</FONT=3E</A=3E<FONT f=
ace=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E or Cowra 63422166, Parramatta 02 9635 0199 fax 02 =
9635 0299 e-mail </FONT=3E<A href=3D'mailto:info@habitat=2Eorg=2Eau'=3E<FONT=
 face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3Einfo@habitat=2Eorg=2Eau</FONT=3E</A=3E</P=3E<P=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E=A0=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=
=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F</FONT=3E<BR=3E<BR=3E<=
BR=3E<BR=3E=A0</P=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div align=3Dright=3E<font size=3D2=3E<a hre=
f=3D'#top'=3EBack to top</a=3E</font=3E</div=3E<br=3E<p=3E</p=3E</font=3E</b=
lockquote=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E<td width=3D578 height=3D13 bgcolor=3D'#ffff=
ff' nowrap=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templa=
tes/fathers/template1/Generic/banner=2Ejpg' width=3D595=3E</td=3E</tr=3E<tr=3E=
<td width=3D578 height=3D25 bgcolor=3D'#ffffff' background=3D'http://www=2Eb=
osweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/templates/fathers/template1/Generic/fade=2Egi=
f'=3E<blockquote=3E<p=3E<font size=3D3 face=3D'Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sa=
ns-serif' color=3Dblack=3E<br=3E<a name=3D'anchor9'=3E</a=3E<b=3EDad's Praye=
r</b=3E</font=3E<font face=3D'verdana' size=3D2=3E<br=3E<br=3E<div=3E<img sr=
c=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5Fimages/fathers=5F=
issue15-9th Dec, 2002=5Fsmiling kids2=2Ejpg' align=3Dleft=3E</div=3E <FONT s=
ize=3D4=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: cen=
ter' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3EDear God</FONT=
=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: cent=
er' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3EHelp me talk am=
idst the noise=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0c=
m 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' siz=
e=3D5=3EHelp me say to those I love</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=
=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'=
Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3Ethe words they need to hear=2E</FONT=3E</P=3E<P cl=
ass=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dce=
nter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3EHelp me not be selfish</FONT=3E=
</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center'=
 align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3Ebut ready to liste=
n,</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALI=
GN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3Eready t=
o play,</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEX=
T-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D5=3Ere=
ady to laugh,</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0p=
t; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans MS' size=3D=
5=3Eready to encourage,</FONT=3E</P=3E<P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D'MARGIN: =
0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center' align=3Dcenter=3E<FONT face=3D'Comic Sans M=
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r=3E<div=3E<img src=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/client=5F=
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rhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a=
 goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encoura=
ging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families=2E</FONT=3E=
<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3E<BR=3E<BR=3E<A href=3D'http://www=2Ebosweb=2E=
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hers/about/index=2Ehtml'=3EClick here for more information about us</A=3E </=
FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT size=3D5=3E<STRONG=3EHelp Us!</STRONG=3E</FONT=3E</P=
=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe Fatherhood Foundation believes t=
hat the key to life is=A0giving=2E That's why this newsletter is given freel=
y without expectation=2E=A0 Life is also about relationships=2E=A0=A0That's=A0=
what being a good father is all about, developing close relationships with y=
our loved ones=2E=A0 </FONT=3E</P=3E<P=3E<FONT face=3DVerdana size=3D2=3EThe=
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e who give=2E We gratefully accept one off gifts and sponsorships=2E Our pre=
ference though, is for regular giving partnerships=2E</FONT=3E<FONT face=3DV=
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